Sometimes a quiet man’s life exemplifies
what our faith can mean. I delivered this tribute at my father’s funeral on September
24, 2012. My text does not distinguish between fact and folklore since, in my Dad’s
case, I am perfectly content to print the legend.
For 3 years as an altar boy I was master of ceremonies
for all funerals here at St. Margaret’s Church (in my hometown of Saugus, Massachusetts).
Mostly it was a routine responsibility, but one day in 1960 the funeral was for
a classmate’s mother, and I spent the entire ceremony imagining the loss of my
own parents. I was terrified of being orphaned, and prayed from that day on
that my folks would survive until I could take care of myself. My mother lived
to 91, and my father to 94½, so I guess this means my prayers were answered. It
also means that, in a sense, for the last 52 years I have been preparing for
this day.
In fact, 1960 was the year my sense of my father became
fixed in my mind. I remember the snowy Sunday in 1960 when I lost track of time
playing in a friend’s house, then raced home along the dark, slippery street,
so angry with myself I was in tears by the time I reach home. My father
confirmed it: I had missed Leonard Bernstein’s “Young People’s Concert.” I
cried inconsolably, while he tried to assure me: the show had been sub-prime,
the music of no interest. “Bartok,” he sneered—and
forever after, “Bartok” became our blanket label for music we disliked.
That same 1960 I saw also my first Red Sox game. Ted Williams homered, just inside the Pesky
pole, off the bald head of a man two rows in front of me. The hit came late in a losing cause against
the Yankees, but it seemed ample reward for my long futile attempts to get
Williams’ baseball card.
And when, in November of that same 1960, John Kennedy
became president, I first began to picture Dad as part of a group of four men
of the same place and generation: Bernstein, Williams, Kennedy, and my own
father.
All had Boston ties: my father, born and raised in
Boston’s north shore; Kennedy, heir apparent to two great Boston families’
legacies; Bernstein, trained at Latin school and Harvard College, protégé of
the Boston Symphony Orchestra’s music director, Serge Koussivitsky; and Williams,
the San Diego “kid” who dominated Boston sports scene during four decades.
All four were born within 12 months, during the last
year of World War I. All were children
during prohibition, all adolescents during the Great Depression, all adults
during World War II.
They belonged to the generation JFK spoke of in his
inaugural address: “The torch has been
passed,” he said, “to a new
generation, born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter
peace.” Of course, in Bernstein’s case the torch that was passed was actually
a baton; in Williams’ case, a bat; in my father’s case, a gavel.
By 1960 my father had risen as far as possible in
General Electric without crossing sides from labor to management. At age 42, he
chose instead a second career in union leadership. During the 1960s and into the 1970s, he
served as vice president, and then president, of his union of technical
engineers.
He also entered politics, becoming chairman of the
Saugus School Committee. My wife’s high
school diploma bears his signature. In
1980, after 40 years with GE and nearly 20 with his union, he retired.
By then, of course, his life journey had already followed
many paths. Born the first of 9 children, Joseph Francis Swain was baptized
a parishioner of Blessed Sacrament Parish (also in Saugus) before Saint Margaret’s
even existed as a mission church, but as a charter member of Saint Margaret’s
he served many roles: head altar boy, Holy Name president, DJ for the Friday
night junior high canteen, lector, Eucharistic minister, consulting
electrician, parish councillor, and leader of the Charismatic prayer group. He
was confirmed in this church, married in this church, brought all these children
here for their Baptisms, First Communions, and Confirmations.
He began his schooling at the Ballard School, which still
operates, and graduated in 1936 from Saint Mary’s Boys High School in Lynn,
where he was violinist and concert master in the school orchestra.
His next step was the first of many attempts to find
his true vocation. He joined the
community of Trappist Monks at Our Lady of the Valley monastery in Cumberland,
Rhode Island. He became Brother Gabriel,
and immersed himself in a life of prayer, contemplation, manual labor, and
“perpetual silence.” Had he succeeded on this path, many of us would not be
here today, because Brother Gabriel would’ve spent his life making the Trappist
Jelly you can buy today in the supermarket. But he soon developed skin boils,
and was sent home to recuperate. A few
weeks later he returned, but then so did the boils, and his superiors suggested
that the Trappist life was not his true calling.
This was, of course, the answer to my mother’s
prayers, for she had been taking the bus to Lynn twice a week for instructions in
Catholicism (discreetly, lest her father find out) while praying for Dad’s
expulsion from the Trappists. Dad’s
feelings about Mum no doubt also played a role.
And none of us offspring would be surprised if the boils showed he was
allergic to a life of “perpetual silence.”
In any case, his search for true calling brought him
back to my mother. They married in this
church in June 1940 and lived together for the next 71 years.
Dad and Mum |
He began work at GE’s River Works plant in Lynn, and
used GE’s apprentice program to become first an electrician, then a draftsman,
finally a planner and technical engineer, remaining with GE for 39 years. I suspect that for many years, GE was merely
a means of supporting his true life work, which was his family. Indeed, he
often moonlighted weekends to pay for our camping vacations in the White Mountains,
installing us at a campsite one weekend, returning to work and commuting back
weekends until his own vacation week finally arrived. I recall serving as his electrician’s helper,
including that summer of 1960 helping to wire a brand new house in Andover for 30¢
an hour and all the cheeseburgers I could eat.
During these years, family life was his true calling,
and his devotion especially to my mother lasted his whole life, including a
near-heroic visiting schedule during her time in a nursing home.
But once he embraced union leadership he found a new,
additional calling. My mother never saw
the benefit of workers striking, but on this point my father would not
compromise: justice in the workplace was a matter of principle to him, and he
always admired Walter Reuther of the UAW for pushing beyond contract benefits
to seek more managerial power for workers.
For similar reasons, my father was a great supporter of the Catholic Labor
Guild and the Catholic Worker. For him,
faith and justice were always bound together.
Perhaps the worst strike of all came in 1969, when his
union joined a company-wide strike by the International Union Electricians. The strike lasted more than four months,
including a major dispute over GE recruiters at Holy Cross that triggered the
exodus of all African-American students
(including Clarence Thomas) from campus (see that story at CrossCurrents #346),
and also left me telling the school’s vice president that I could not pay my
last semester’s tuition.
By the 1970s, Dad was torn about labor policy. The Vietnam War was finally winding down, so
GE was losing defense contracts, and while this threatened his members’ jobs,
he also believed deeply that the war’s end was a good thing.
Serving in Saugus town politics provided another path
for his skills and convictions, but by the end of his career he was ready for
early retirement. Statistics showed, he
said, that the earlier you retire the longer you live. He then went on to prove the point, earning
more pension in his 32 years of retirement than he ever earned on the job.
In retirement he busied himself around the house, so
much so that my mother sought some personal space by becoming a belated red sox
fan. He also made time for social
service, serving meals at Boston’s Pine Street Inn and leading nursing home
sing-alongs from his new electric keyboard.
Many of us here will never forget the stunning image of Dad at the
keyboard as we all sang old standards for his 90th birthday party.
His care for my mother remained a central focus of his
later years, including his project to convert the family beach house in Marshfield
(MA) to year-round living, with a second floor dormitory and wraparound
deck. He planned and consulted and
completed blueprints and hired a contractor, but when my mother had a change of
heart, declaring 24 hours before construction would begin that she could not leave
Saugus, he immediately called off the contractor, and I never heard the subject
raised again. Her wishes truly were his commands.
Since his own journey showed a strong sense of
vocation but also the struggle to find the right path, he kept open mind about
the lives others chose for themselves.
He was never one to push a child or grandchild along any path, yet he
took great pride in all their accomplishments.
I was well into my 30s before
discovering my parents had always hoped for (and even plotted for) my vocation
to the priesthood--even naming me, their firstborn son, after Dad’s favorite priest. But dad never failed to praise the alternate
path I chose.
Three first-born Sons |
That sense that we each must find our true calling was his great
legacy—not just for his children but for the generations beyond. He had a gift for recognizing the value in
each grandchild’s life path. He was
proud of them all, and they knew it. Many of them were inspired by his example,
and he knew that too, and he took paternal pride seeing his life’s mission
touch theirs.
And when Mum died in April, his final mission was
accomplished. At the end of her life, what my mother needed above all was to
see Dad across the room. When he returned home from the hospital two years ago,
they cuddled on the couch like two teenagers. It was an epically romantic
image.
Those four men of JFK’s “new generation,” all 30 years
my senior, have left our world a richer, more complex, place. For many, the bell ringing in a new age began
tolling the moment Jack Kennedy was shot.
And the moment I heard Bernstein was gone in 1990, I suddenly felt the
same sad alarm that young boy felt, 30 years before, racing in tears down a
dark and slippery road, to the consoling comfort of his father’s home. Twelve years
later, Williams was gone too. My father was the last survivor.
They were all larger than
life, and Dad truly belonged in their company. Like them, he was an
extraordinary man—but only he lived the kind of ordinary, quietly heroic life
that still inspires me today. He fought the good fight, he ran the good race, and
most of the time he made it look easy. Now he has finally arrived at his life’s
finish in the sure hope of beginning yet another journey. Bon Voyage, Dad.
© Bernard F. Swain PhD 2012